Love and Marriage

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I was reaching into the cupboard for a cereal bowl when I turned to my wife and said, ” Do you know I have a magic drawer in the bedroom, as soon as it empties of socks and underwear it magically refills the next day”. She arched her eyebrow and quietly replied, ” I wonder if the drawer would still be magic if I wasn’t here”   …… and ……I thought…… she’s absolutely right without her there would be no magic in my life. I would be just a depressed, chain smoking, overweight, alcoholic, searching for the meaning of existence. Now I’m kind of happy guy, who has quit smoking for 38 year, the usual 10 lbs overweight, still likes his alcohol on the weekends and found the meaning of life in family. My wife Kathy first cast her spell over me at the Royal Canadian Legion in September of 1971.

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Shortly after coming to Canada, at 21 years of age, I was adopted by an English family. I spent a great deal of time with them and one Saturday evening, about two years later, they invited me to accompany them to the Royal Canadian Legion. I sat opposite a young woman, sitting with her parents, and entered into conversation with her. I was immediately attracted to her casual, down to earth conversational style and calm demeanour. I loved looking at her face and the way her eyes reflected such kindness and understanding. By the end of a very pleasant evening we agreed to meet the following Friday at the local bowling alley. From that first date our relationship progressed and two months later I asked her to marry me. We were married six months later and settled into my basement apartment ready for domestic bliss.

Fast forward eight years and after the birth of our second child I finally managed to quit cigarettes. Soon after we had family over who smoked, and when they left I cried a river over how I couldn’t stand the smell of cigarettes. Kathy turned to me and said ” how do you think I felt all the years that you smoked”. I had my ash tray, cigarettes and lighter on a stand at the side of the bed and as soon as I was awake in the morning I would reach over, grab a cigarette, and start puffing away. Kathy told me she would open all the windows as soon as I left the house and would wash clothes daily because they smelled of cigarette smoke. She’s always been a non smoker. I was shocked when she told me this because in all that time she had never complained once.

Kathy and I both have different viewing habits, so we have two TV’s. Hers in the family room, mine in the basement. Kathy likes to watch women’s talk shows, dancing competitions, singing competitions and some reality shows. I like to watch Game of Thrones, The Vikings and any fast action dramas like Justified. When we were first married we both compromised. We watched her shows together and I was bored out of my mind. She would watch my shows and fall asleep after half an hour.

Kathy is a very caring, patient woman. She has to be, with me for a husband. I love her very much and if I had to live my life all over again, I would search for her till we were together again. Romance is not being all starry eyed but an understanding that neither of us is perfect, and a willingness to put up with those imperfections. So here we are forty seven years later, still romantically involved, still forgiving each others faults and still trying the best we can to ensure our relationship endures.

This post is written in response to a post by calmkate from “aroused” who asked for contributions on the subject of Romance.

22 thoughts on “Love and Marriage

  1. What a wonderful partnership. Marriage is for better or worse, you have your ups and downs. You take your vowels seriously. You have a family they grow up and fly the nest. You find that there is just the two of you, and the relationship flourishes again, it takes you back to your courtship, laughing about silly things because you get each other and you could not imagine laughing about it with anyone else.

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  3. Wow, I think you are describing my relationship with my significant other, Richard too!!! We have not been together as long as you too, and we have no children together. He is younger than me, but we loved each other when we first met. We spend our days sitting next to each other and working on our computers, and we don’t have much in the way of things, but we are happy through and through. These are the things that are wonderful in life. He is my best friend, and we have seen each other through thick and thin – me with cancer in 2016 and him with major neck surgery in 2017. But having someone you are so comfortable with and can just be who you are is such a blessing in this life. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I am so happy for the two of you and your family as I am happy for me and Richard. He used to do the things you did, and he quit smoking in 2016 or early 2017 and never went back to it. Love can accomplish so much. Thank you for the inspirational post.

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