In the year of the forgotten one 3175, Herod the Hasty ascended to the seat of Eternal Guardian, relishing his role in guiding the world council to its further domination of the people of planet earth.
At the time of birth, all people on planet Earth were implanted with a microchip to ensure a strict Pavlovian response to the councils bidding, resistance being met with a painful reminder to the nervous system.
It came to pass in those days that God was not happy with the way his people were treated and so the ambassador Gabriel was sent to reason with Herod, to release God’s people from their bondage, but Herod refused to listen.
God then sent his warrior Michael to threaten Herod with dire consequences if he did not let his people go, and yet again Herod refused to listen.
So God blew a gentle breath upon the planet Earth causing it to widen its orbit around the sun and the Earth was plunged into icy shadow.
Four thousand years later God relented and blew upon the planet once more and the earth returned to its historical orbit around the sun, the ice melted and the earth was made anew.